


Next Time

by meowmeow3000



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Unresolved Tension, a bit angsty, chap 423, ep 342, i just really have a lot of angst about these two that i need to express
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 01:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8558437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowmeow3000/pseuds/meowmeow3000
Summary: They'd always thought there would be a next time.





	

There always seemed to be a next time.

Next time, they would figure it out. Next time, they would sit down and talk about…everything. Next time, next time, next time.

The time they had seemed infinite, they have their whole lives ahead of them, right? And even beyond that. They have all the time in the world. Right?

But time is fickle, it passes by in the blink of an eye, and before you know it all that time you thought you had has passed you by and you’re sat wondering where it all went.

 

The first time she said next time was when she was leaving him, sneaking out of the house and leaving him behind so he wouldn’t get caught up in all of her issues with Soul Society. It was when she was writing that letter. It was bittersweet, thinking of all they had shared, the moments that had brought them together. She was so glad to have met him, even with the consequences of her actions that she knew faced her. She thought maybe next time they would have a better chance. To know one another, to spend all the little moments of their day together, to grow strong together, to really live. Nothing like this half-life she had convinced him was important, was real.

Because they were connected now, there was no denying it. Whether they had been before or if it only happened the moment she shoved her zanpakutou through his chest, they were fated, bound by their experiences through their souls. And she was sure that those self-same souls would encounter each other once more. So she signed her goodbyes and told herself next time.

 

For him, next time was not quite so final the time he first promised it to himself. They were standing in the clearing near Kuukaku’s house and she had just announced she was staying. In Soul Society. Not coming back with him. It took him a second, a mental shake of his head, but that was fine. He was fine with that. She was allowed to stay, she was supposed to stay. The whole point of this was to free her. So she didn’t have to hide herself away in his closet again fearing for her life, checking over her shoulder every time she turned a corner. Even then, when she was completely powerless, she’d been sure to help him keep up her patrol. The Gotei 13 really meant something to her. She had friends here, family, duty…

So when she stayed, it was okay. They’d always have next time he told himself. She was free to come and go, once she trained and got back in shape, and he was sure she would have patrol duties in Karakura again, if what Ukitake-taicho said was anything to go by, they’d all be wanting to keep an eye on him, and she would be the best one to send. He had no doubt that they would see each other again. That they would have a next time.

 

And so it went. And so it goes.

 

Next time is when he slinks off to the Vizard’s camp without saying where, or why or, when he’d be back after he’d just seen her gored by an arrancar.

Next time is when she goes with Orihime to Soul Society so they can both train more and then has to leave him behind the senkaimon doors on the pretext of orders and duty for a second time.

Next time is when they’re sitting on Bawabawa’s back, with Nel giving her the evil eye from his lap after she’d yelled at him at how stupid he’d been, how little faith he had in their bond, in her. Next time is knowing there is more to be said, more to address, but not having the chance to say it.

Next time is not when he sees her again because who is he kidding? He has barely recovered from one fight to the next, and all he knows is she is alive and oh my god – Yammy – she’s not moving fast enough and he’s there and she’s there and then they’re off again, no time to stop. Back to Karakura, back to war.

 

And then next time vanishes in front of her eyes as he collapses after performing the Final Getsuga Tenshou. He looks so surprised. Later when Isshin and Urahara explain what it means, she realizes how much of a pipe dream next time had always been.

 

He decides he is firmly over the idea of next time. He wants now. And he wants Rukia and he wants to talk with her and be with her and not always have some new barrier keeping them apart.

But instead he has not just Rukia, but everyone, Uryu, Chad, and Inoue, crowding around his bed, hovering over him as he tries to reorient himself. He is in his room, but he doesn’t know how, and it seems like maybe quite a bit of time has already passed – everyone looks healthy and put together, they’ve had time to heal and get back to normal, human lives.

He feels very weak, though they’re telling him he’s had a month to recover. But then he remembers what he gave up and knows the fading presence of Zangetsu in his soul is not just him giving the cold shoulder – he really is losing his powers, a piece of his soul.

It was worth it, it had to be worth it. He forces himself to remember.

 

But he is standing outside of his house, on the pavement where it all started, and she is in front of him, and the rest of his friends who were on this journey with him are behind him, and he doesn’t quite remember how he got here. He feels a bit removed, out of touch, like what is happening is not happening to him – he is just an observer. Because it can’t be happening to him, right?

And so there they are. Standing on the pavement with everyone’s eyes on him feeling like what he thought would be his life, what he thought he would have for forever, slip through his fingers.

And she is teasing him, trying to relieve the tension, and he is responding, because how could he not. It just flows with him and with her, it is the most natural thing in the world.

But now she is actually, physically disappearing before him. And they couldn’t even make this moment their next time. Not with everyone else there. Not with time against them.

He guesses they never really had a next time. They just had what they had and now it was at an end. He looked at her and at their last moment she looked at him.

And they both regretted that they had ever let themselves say next time.

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe more? For resolving canon stuff after chapter 423/episode 342...lmk!


End file.
